a self portrait of my body as fabric squares

  truth is
i haven't felt whole in a while 
              i keep
getting caught up 
             on the            baby teeth 
              lost years ago, 
  the pieces        of                myself 
i have                           sold 
          for the price 
                 of an           orgasm.  

i      want   myself             
                                                   to be 
a thing             i desire 
outside                        the body 
tangled in        the brambles 
                              of my hands 
sitting      in the      mildew of hair 
locked  inside 
                       the      shower drains 

of        any place            
                             i’ve got naked 
to                  get                         clean. 

sending fingernail 
                       clippings 
in the mail                         i am
consumed by                giving 
                                              myself away— 
i          want      
                                                to be 
        needed,

     i                                     want 
WHO         WANTS                      ME 
   i                       say,
WHO     WANTS    THIS      FLESH 
rotting   and                  
                     writhing 
in wait               for someone 
            to       make it 

a masterpiece.  

                               truth is, 
i have been                  
                   heavy          with longing 
         for too                       long. 
the            last time   i          felt  
                     satisfied                                       

                                         i was
looking at        the inside of 
                  my own                      body 
                       sewn together again, 
   and                           again too 
         so i make of myself              
                 nothing               but a quilt 
   with the pieces                        all lopsided
cause they         never           quite